Growing up or just getting older?

I can't tell. Here is a list of things that I like doing/ currently make me happy.

1. Peanut
2. catching up with my friends on the phone
3. working out [with a friend]
4. coffee with a friend
5. coffee with John in the morning
5. getting in pajamas and watching tv [giggling while doing so usually after midnight]
6. not smoking
7. being sober
8. or sometimes just having a couple
9. good tequila
10. good food [helping make it]
11. counting my blessings
12. Joel Osteen
13. Martha Stewart
14. yep, sometimes Oprah
15. Style network
16. wedding/makeover shows
17. shopping [including window and online]
18. shows, concerts
19. family [mine and his]

to be continued

My Birthday

I had a quiet birthday on Wednesday. I got my eyebrows done and then went to work out with Charity. We went and had a beverage at Subway and talked after. Mom, dad, me and Peanut went to get Portillos. After we had my favorite strawberry cake from Jewel.

I went back over to John's. I was lucky to get the Joel Osteen book on tape a few days before and have been listening to that in the car. We went shopping to get the ingredients for Black Bean Soup in the crockpot.

I heard from John's mom and the baby, Aunt Branda and Tabaitha, Charity, Katirose, my grandpa, my cousin Ashley, my Aunt carlene, Gramma Rita, my Aunt Millie, and Uncle Jim. (and Mom, dad, and Brian.)

On Thursday, we ate the delicious Black Bean soup and Blue Jalepeno cornbread that John made. SO, so good. He left a card on my side of the bed. It made me cry.

Friday, we went to his mom's for a little get together and dinner. Then they had a little surprise cake and presents for me. (I cried again.)

Birthday's past that I can remeber include:
2004 "27" John and myself saw the Pixies.
2003 "26" The Lodge with shauna & group and then out to Howl at the Moon and Cleo's with Katirose & group
2002 "25" Monika, Steffanie, Katirose at Betty's Blue Star
2001 "24" dinner at some steak house with people who I do not talk to anymore.
2000 "23" Red No. 5 with a huge bunch of friends
1999 "22" bar in Joliet with friends
1998 "21" Charity, Kady gay bars downtown
1997 "20"
1996 "19"
1995 "18" Playing outside at Arizona State University
1994 "17" Dinner at Chi-chis with many friends
1993 "16" Suprise birthday party

I can fly!

I had a dream last night that I could fly. I took a running start off a building and I was flying. I felt so carefree. I also knew that I was dreaming. I saw a couple other people flying around. I could also swim and breathe underwater and touch the bottom of a deep pool.

From dreammoods.com

flying dreams


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flyingintro
"I'm Flying"

Flying dreams fall under a category of dreams where you become aware that you are dreaming, known as lucid dreaming. Many dreamers have described the ability to fly in their dreams as an exhilarating, joyful, and liberating experience.

If you are flying with ease and enjoying the scene and landscape below, then it suggests that you are on top of a situation. You have risen above something. It may also mean that you have gained a different perspective on things. Flying dreams and the ability to control your flight is representative of your own personal sense of power.

Having difficulties staying in flight indicates a lack of power in controlling your own circumstances. You may be struggling to stay aloft and stay on course. Things like power lines, trees, or mountains may further obstruct your flight. These barriers represent a particular obstacle or person who is standing in your way in your waking life. You need to identify who or what is hindering you from moving forward.

If you are feeling fear when you are flying or that you feel that you are flying too high, then it suggests that you are afraid of challenges and of success.

In reality, we do not have the ability to fly. Thus such dreams may represent that which is beyond our physical limitations. In your mind, you can be anybody and do anything. Another way of interpreting flying dreams is that these dreams symbolize your strong mind and will. You feel undefeatable and nobody can tell you what you cannot do and accomplish. Undoubtedly these dreams leave you a great sense of freedom.

While I was away

I haven't written in a while. I was keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself for awhile.

The holiday season is upon us. For me it starts with my mom's birthday on Oct. 21st, then Halloween, Peanut's birthday, my birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas, my dad's birthday, New Years Eve, and finally Brian's birthday.

I'm looking forward to the holidays. Creating or being in a cozy atomosphere is all that matters to me lately. I was asked Brian a couple of weeks ago, "You know what going to be so cool this year?" He didn't skip a beat, "Having Peanut with us for Christmas." That's exactly what I was thinking. I got him two little costumes for Halloween, but I wasn't home to take pictures. Now, he'll have them for years to come. Or just when I want to see him looking like Elvis or Dracula. I also just bought him a little Santa outfit. I want to take a picture of him by the tree in it.
This year has turned out to be one of the best yet. It wasn't without it's trying moments,but

• We got Peanut
• got back together with him and hanging with his family; met his niece and his cats
• went to lots of concerts including Play the Field, Lollapalooza, NIN twice, the Black Crowes
• pretty much had the best summer going to Milwaukee, the zoo, Plamers, Casa Margarita
• WENT TO TEXAS, met his grandma, walked on the beach, San Juan shrine, Mexico
• he met my parents, grandparents, and aunt and uncle
• watching the Sox win
• became the Maid-of-Honor

I just can't believe it. I'm so thankful and grateful. So now, I am looking forward to the warmth, coziness and love of the holidays.